What I learnt from learning Japanese...

So, I love learning and I always have, I’m the kind of person that enjoyed school and going into college then university was a no brainer for me. When I came to the end of my business degree I wanted to stay on to do a masters, not because I wanted to drag my easy uni life out but because I genuinely loved learning and the environment.

I couldn’t afford it though and I had to leave and join the world of work- I’ve been lucky but I’ve always worked hard and I did well in my career. However, along the way I’ve taken every opportunity to do some learning (and some teaching as well at one point which I also loved) - from social media to computer packages, if someone offers me a chance to learn something new or enhance a skill I’m there for it. I’ll even do self taught learning and a lot of my current skills (including some pretty impressive bathroom timing) come from that committed approach to finding a way to do it myself.

All of those though were linked to my job or my business and I could always ‘justify’ them. So despite all of that I still had a craving for learning for the sake of learning, flexing my brain for no other reason that interest. I started reading around topics I thought I’d like to pursue- sociology, psychology, criminology (anything with ‘ology on the end basically!) and then I saw it… an ad for beginners Japanese classes: local to me, initial 12 classes, mix of language and culture. Same day I saw an ad for burlesque classes but that not one for a blog on here!

I decided to do it, what did I have to lose. Japanese is not something I had a burning desire to learn but it was learning, it was different and it was time to try and address that nagging urge.

If you’ve read my blogs before you’ll know I suffer primarily from depression but can also get anxious and the first class coincided with a really bad episode and I very very much did not want to go. Post a stern talking to and a lift to the front door of the venue I did go though (and I was terrified). I sat at the front (yep the nerd is still in me) and to be honest I really enjoyed the class - up to the point where we had to talk to each to practice which frankly still gives me palpitations every week - but it was fun, it was brain stretching and most of all it made me realise one massive thing.

My 40 year old brain is not the same as my 20 year old brain. From 5 I learnt languages, I spoke French and German pretty well by the time I was 18 and I often thought in a mixture of 3 languages. It was easy, I loved it and my brain was built for development and knowledge…

At 40 I can only assume my brain had become a dried up sponge unable to retain anything. Honestly, anything the lovely teacher said I listened to, wrote down and promptly forgot. The lesson recap at the end… nothing. Class 2 thinking back to what we’d learnt… nothing. If I was reading it I remembered but without prompts it was a big blank slate.

I cannot tell you how scary that is, to know that the mind- that used to deal with and process challenges easily- just can’t operate like it used to. I know there are loads of extenuating factors, at 20 all I had to think about was uni, external pressure didn’t really exist until a few years later so running a business, juggling a home life and two kids, all of that takes up processing capacity and reduces what’s left over.

I’ve completed lesson 4 now, I really enjoy it although I still have to be dragged out the house and I still panic when forced to interact with a stranger (aka classmate) but I’ve learnt that if your passionate about something waiting to do it isn’t always a good idea, I’ve learnt that the older you get the harder some things become, I’ve learned that doing something new is really scary and I’ve learnt that none of that should stop you.

What I haven’t learnt, so far, is much Japanese although I can tell you my age so if I’m ever stuck in Japan I’ll just keep telling them I’m 40 and hope they take pity on an old lady!