No One Cares... Lesson 1 of 10 for 10 Years

So this year my business will turn 10 years old, I might have a party or at least crack open a bottle of bubbly, but in the meantime I’m going to write a blog every month until then about the Top 10 things I have learnt in my (almost) ten years of business. 

Up first is the realisation that changed my whole perspective on life and increased my confidence ten fold. To be clear, it wasn’t an overnight sensation but it was the thing that has changed me the most.

And here it is… the secret to my growing confidence… no one cares.

Yep. That’s right, literally no one cares.

Now, I don’t mean that no one cares about you, that you don’t have people in your corner or cheerleading your every step because that’s absolutely true… and you need that to survive running your own business.

I mean the average person, the complete stranger, the not-your-ideal-client… those are the people you’re not making an effort to attract, you’re not pointing your messaging at or spending all your time trying to get inside their head. And because you don’t want these people you’ll be incredibly happy to know that they don’t care what you’re up to.

I meet (virtually) so many people who have seen my social posts and reels and say that they wish they could be as outgoing as me but they’re too embarrassed or worried that people will be laughing/judging/trolling. But that’s my secret lovely readers, I know for a fact that the only people who are going to watch (and love) my content are those who are drawn to me and those people are my dream clients. Everyone else won’t even stop the scroll or bat an eyelid and that’s okay by me.

Let me give you another example. Until I was 40 ish I had never walked into a pub on my own- I’d time my arrival to coincide with others or make them come out and get me… anything to avoid going in alone and having everyone stare at me for being a weirdo walking around a pub on her own (shock horror). A very good friend of mine made me sit in a pub one day and watch the other people in there every time someone came in- did they look up, did they pay attention, did they laugh and point? Nope. In fact they were so absorbed in their own lives that they didn’t even notice the door opening (with the exception of the bar staff whose job it is to notice customers!).

That’s the moment I realised that no one cares and it is the most freeing conclusion I have ever come to. That’s why over on Instagram you’ll find me making ridiculous faces, wearing hats and headbands, pointing at nothing or wearing a lilac lampshade on my head… because that is me having fun and trying to get my personality and message across in a way that appeals to those ideal clients.

And back to the pub, if people do look up it’s because they’re your ICA (aka potential love match) so I just comfort myself with how attractive they think I am.

My accountability coach refers to this journey as having to get over cringe mountain (thanks Ellie) because once you’re over the embarrassment and you get more confident (or blasé) it’s plain sailing and downhill from there.

Taking to heart my realisation shortcuts the need to climb the mountain in the first place, it’s like being teleported to the summit with a flag in your hand, a lampshade on your head and a massively cheesy grin on your face… and doesn’t that sound flipping fabulous?